And Then...


In the beginning,
God created
the Heavens and the Earth
and populated the Earth with
broccoli, cauliflower
and spinach,
green and yellow
and red vegetables
of all kinds,
so Man and Woman
would live
long and healthy lives..

Then using God's great gifts,
Satan created
Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream
and Krispy Creme Donuts.

And Satan said,
"You want chocolate with that?"

And Man said, "Yes!"
and Woman said,
"and as long as you're at it,
add some sprinkles."

And they gained 10 pounds.
And Satan smiled.

And God created
the healthful yogurt that Woman
might keep the figure that
Man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth
white flour from the wheat,
and sugar from the cane
and combined them.

And Woman went from size 6
to size 14.

So God said,
"Try my fresh green salad."

And Satan presented
Thousand-Island Dressing,
buttery croutons and garlic toast
on the side.

And Man and Woman unfastened
their belts following
the repast.

God then said,
"I have sent you heart healthy
vegetables and olive oil in
which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth
deep fried fish and
chicken-fried steak so big
it needed its own platter.

And Man gained more weight
and his cholesterol went through
the roof.

God then created a light,
fluffy white cake, named it
"Angel Food Cake,"
and said, "It is good."

Satan then created chocolate cake
and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes
so that His children might lose
those extra pounds.

And Satan gave cable TV
with a remote control
so Man would not have to toil
changing the channels.

And Man and Woman
laughed and cried
before the flickering blue light and
gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off
the healthful skin and sliced the
starchy center into chips and
deep-fried them.

And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef
so that Man might consume fewer
calories and still
satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonald's
and its 99-cent double cheeseburger.

Then said,
"You want fries with that?"

And Man replied,
"Yes! And super size them!"

And Satan said, "It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed
and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs!

Thought for the day .

There is more money being spent
on breast implants and Viagra today
than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2040,
there should be a large
elderly population
with perky boobs and huge erections
and absolutely no recollection
of what to do with them!

Something to munch on today.

Contributed by
Randy Randall

Arranged by Lulu Robertson
Web Page Designer

Background Music:
"Soft Breeze"